Kissing You
by xBringMeSunshine
Summary: Whilst watching her from across the room, Edward Cullen reminisces about Bella Swan, the love he has for her, and the times they've shared.


Summary: Whilst watching her from across the room, Edward Cullen reminisces about Bella Swan, the love he has for her, and the times they've shared.

Disclaimer: All characters etc. belong to Stephenie Meyer. All song information belongs to Des'ree and/or her affiliates. I don't own Titanic, or anything to do with James Cameron and his creation. I only own the written word.

**Just before we begin, I'd like to mention that this oneshot was for the Juke Box Contest. I loved working my story around the lyrics of such a beautiful song, and found it challenging but enjoyable! Votes have been taken and the winners will be announced in a few days time, so we'll see how it goes. I'd really love you hear what you think about it, though. Enjoy!**

**Kissing You**

**by xBringMeSunshine**

_20th December 1996_

She had dressed up; she looked pretty. It was a change from seeing her in jeans and green converse. Her knobbly knees peeked out from under the hem of her blue dress and I smiled because those are so familiar, and not everything has changed. It may have seemed to have happened quickly, but it was probably a gradual change.

I'd known Bella Swan for six years, ever since she arrived here at the age of seven. Her mother was more interested in sight-seeing than caring for her daughter, and she'd asked to come live with her father. Charlie was a nice man once you passed inspection and learned to not fear his gun collection. Admittedly, I'm still a little bit scared, but they couldn't keep me away from Bella - we were joined at the hip.

We'd been friends since her first day at school, when she'd stumbled into class. Everyone else was stifling their laughter, but I'd shot out of my seat to help her off the floor, already captured by the brunette beauty. Sure, my seven year old self didn't really understand why he felt drawn to this girl, but he was. We'd been friends for years and now, tonight, we'd decided to… see if we could be more than friends. I'd always thought she was beautiful, and she said she's "attracted" to me too, and who am I to argue with that? What's better than to date your best friend - a person who knows you better than you know yourself?

The room was dark, but not dark enough that I couldn't see her cheeks painted in pink when Leonardo DiCaprio appeared on the big screen. I'd known of her celebrity crush for a while and tried not to be too jealous. I dropped my hand into our shared popcorn box and brushed her fingers accidentally when I retracted my hand. My head turned to face her quickly, that blush spreading even quicker to her already rosy cheeks, travelling down to the small section of chest exposed by her dress. I smiled, suddenly quite shy and look back at the screen.

_"…pride can stand a thousand trials…the strong will never fall…"_

Piano notes floated into my ears, Romeo's face was squashed against the glass of a fish tank and I really couldn't have cared less if he'd got Juliet's attention or not. I couldn't properly concentrate when Bella, my best friend turned girlfriend (hopefully), was sitting so close and smelling so lovely and acting so shy that she could hardly look me in the eye. She was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen.

_"…heaving heart is full of pain…ooh, ooh, the aching…"_

Romeo was now playing hide and seek with Juliet, but being that Bella's hand had moved closer to mine on the arm-rest, I was completely unaware of what happened next. Did he dive into the fish tank? Who knew. All I knew was that Bella - surprisingly, the one with the most confidence between both of us - had entwined our fingers and I was feeling happier than ever.

_"…'cause I'm kissing you, oooh… I'm kissing you, oooh…"_

I snuck a look over at her, watching as the light from the screen danced delicately over her face. A small smile tugged at her lips, and I could tell she knew I was watching her, but she didn't give in. I was too happy to care. I squeezed her hand gently with mine and she squeezed back. A small, intimate action that made my day.

Our hands stayed tied together for the rest of the film.

_24th June 2010_

_Present_

Memories come back to me as I watch her from the other end of the room. Hiding away in a shady corner with a glass of wine in my hand, I'm quite happy to observe her as she greets the other guests. I'm tired; tired of this whole thing, tired of the claps on the back and the advice from friends. I just want to get away from the crowds. But Bella is smiling and, as tired as I am, I wouldn't want to miss this for the world. That one glorious smile makes everything worth it.

As if she can sense me watching her, her eyes rise up and halt on mine, that smile turning wistful as she looks at me. She knows I don't like fan-fare or big displays so she leaves me as I am and doesn't beckon me over. I'd go, she knows, but she leaves me be because that's how kind she is. I raise my glass to her and can almost hear her tinkling laugh of reply amongst the chatter and music. My heart beats out of my chest with that one look, one sound, until she turns back to Rose and I continue watching.

I'm just in time to see Mike Newton, her work colleague, saunter up to her and wrap his arms around her waist. It looks like a harmless hug but my gut twists because I know better. She looks up at him with that same smile - she's available for everyone, never thinks the worst - and the amount of charm he's laying on her is visible from here. I look away knowing that causing a disturbance is the last thing I want to do. I don't want to take anything away from her special day.

But apparently my glare hasn't gone unnoticed.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Emmett doesn't know the meaning of quiet so I glare at him in return. He moves his eyes over to Bella and sighs knowingly. "Ah, Newton." He nudges me in the side. "He's not got a chance, mate." Emmett thought that spending a semester of college in England allowed him to slip their slang into conversation. After a while, we all gave up trying to tell him to shut the fuck up.

I shrug. "I know that. Doesn't mean it's any less irritating." I growl. "I swear, he's been trying to get his fucking claws into her since the moment she started at Volturi Publishing. Scumbag. He's married to Aro's daughter!"

Emmett claps me on the shoulder, and with the amount of times someone's done that today, it's going to bruise tomorrow. "Easy, Tiger. We all know she won't do anything." He gives me a small smile. "She doesn't love him."

I continue to mope.

He leans closer. "Anyway, I came over to tell you that a certain Ms. Denali has had her eye on you all evening, so if you don't want her cornering you and ripping your clothes off in public, I suggest you get out of your hiding place." He snorts. "Don't understand why you're hiding anyway. It's your own damn party." He brings his beer bottle up to my empty wine glass and clinks them together. "Cheers." He says with a wink and walks away.

Just as I'm readying myself to leave my dark haven I catch sight of Tanya coming towards me. I outwardly groan but she doesn't even notice. It's too late, she's coming towards me, and I know from experience that she can ruin everything.

…Fuck.

_31st October 2003_

Halloween.

There's nothing I hate more than dressing up like a fucking idiot and parading around in a costume. In earlier times it was alright. You were little and dressing up was fun and there was nothing more than chocolate and the occasional coin, to it. Now, at twenty years of age, all around were slutty nurses and dead cheerleaders and god-knows-what (but she doesn't have pants on!). Personally, I think this whole night is pointless. There's not even a very good reason for it.

But I did anything for Bella.

At the tender age of thirteen we'd gone to see Titanic at the cinema. I was shy, she was shy… the whole situation was shy! We never got past a peck on the lips. After the chaste kiss we'd pulled back, giggled nervously, and agreed that it was probably for the best that it didn't go any further. God forbid taking away any of our innocence.

She looked anything but innocent across the room. She looked at home, and I'm not very surprised considering we've all come to Seattle for the party. While I'd decided to spread my wings and head for Chicago for college, Bella had wanted to stay closer to home and had opted for Seattle. It was just far enough away from Forks for freedom, but easy to get home to in time for Sunday dinner. Being so far away from each other could have weakened our friendship, but Skype is a lovely thing. We talked regularly and when she asked me to come to Seattle for Halloween weekend, I couldn't have said no.

Bella had come as a pumpkin. Yet she didn't look round, or flabby, or fat like all other pumpkin costumes would've been. She was wearing an orange dress that skimmed mid-thigh and was strapless, showing to all the leering boys the gorgeous skin she had. Atop her messy curls was a green beret. With feet encased in a small, black leather boots, she looked as cute as a button and fuck-hot sexy at the same time. Only Bella knew how.

And if it wasn't already fucking obvious, I'll just tell it straight. I'm in love with Bella Swan. Have been probably all my life, but until I'd sat down and actually thought about it, I didn't realise the strength of my feelings. Every bone in my body was begging me to go over there and wrap her in my arms. Show all those guys whom she belonged to. But she didn't belong to me and the whole situation was shitty so I didn't do it.

Part of the problem was the huge oaf next to her. Jacob Black. I didn't exactly know if they were dating, but every email I got from her included something about him and it grated on my nerves. I was supposed to be her best guy; the one she always thought about. Call me jealous, because I was! By the way he was hanging over her that night it was blaringly obvious that they were… doing things. Things I didn't want to think she'd been doing with him because it made me feel sick. She deserved to be touched and admired, not wiped down by his mangy hands. But whatever. It was her choice, and even if I said she was choosing wrong, I couldn't say anything to her. What would I say? Don't pick him; pick me. Because I'm a lovesick fool for you. Uh, no. She didn't want anything from me except friendship, and if that was all I could get I was not letting it go. Not even for the chance at something better.

I felt someone tap my shoulder and dragged my eyes away from Bella and The Troll. I turned to find - oh, look - a slutty nurse. She had hardly anything on, heels that she could hardly stand on, fake eyelashes and lips with too much pout. Put simply, I wouldn't touch her even with a ten fucking foot pole. She smiled, all fake and slimy, and placed her hand on my bicep. I swallowed back the sick.

"Sorry," She giggled; not even trying to appear apologetic. "I couldn't help but notice that you were standing here alone." She batted her eyelids and her other hand touched my chest. Would I be called a bastard if I pushed her to the floor? "Want some company?". She was trying to be seductive but it just wasn't working for her. Unlike Bella, who doesn't even have to try…

I cleared my throat and stepped back from her claws. "Um, no, thank you. I'm fine here."

She winked. "Are you sure?" She dragged out the last word as if my mind would change within milliseconds. One fake fingernail trailed down my stomach. "We could always take this somewhere… quieter." She shrugged, all nonchalant with a little glint in her eye. But honestly, I wasn't going anywhere with her and if she even thinks-

"Edward! You got here!" Bella's voice filtered through the noise and reached my ears. I couldn't help the smile that lit up my face. I must've been fucking beaming, but I couldn't help it. She just… made me happy. She, herself, was all smiles and she wrapped her arms around me, delving in for a hug. "How was your trip? You aren't too tired are you? I'm so glad to see you. I've missed you so much! I-" Someone coughed at my other side and I turned to glare at What's-Her-Face. Get. Lost.

Bella blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you two knew each other." She stumbled over her words a little and I couldn't help but latch onto her eyes - wide with disbelief and pity. For me. Because she thinks I'd actually go somewhere with this skank. "You never mentioned to me, Tanya." She whispered.

Tanya? That's her fucking name. Right. Whatever the hell she thinks she's doing, I'm setting this fucking straig-

Tanya latched onto my arm and leant right into me, suffocating me with her perfume. I coughed. She smiled overly sweetly. "Yes, well, it's quite a recent development, isn't it, sweetie?" She gestured to me. I opened my mouth to speak but she stopped me. "In fact, we were just going to find somewhere quieter… to talk… catch up…" She leant forward into Bella and I wanted to pull her back to stop her from being contaminated. "You know what I mean." Tanya whispered, ending with a laugh.

Fuck. Off.

Bella eyed me, her lips tight. No smile. I felt the guilt swirl in my stomach. She forced a chuckle. "Right. Say no more. I'll be on my way. I'll see you later, Tanya…" She looked at me again, "Edward." And then she scurried away.

I felt like a pile of shit. Bella's expression had said it all. I was a shitty friend. Tanya tried to pull me in the direction of the stairs but I pulled back and told her to get lost. I didn't fall for the puppy eyes. I weaved through the crowd, desperate to find Bella and make it right.

I never found her.

_Present_

It took me a couple of days to get through to her. She was screening my calls. In my mind I knew there must have been a reason why she was so upset. She'd never been bothered with any other girls. But maybe it was the fact that she'd never been told (not that there was anything to tell!)? Or maybe it was because she knew what a slut Tanya was? I still don't know. We made up eventually and nothing else was said on the matter. I went back to Chicago on that Sunday and things went on as they had before. The phone calls, the emails. In one way or another, I never forgave myself for not telling her about Tanya - and how she meant nothing to me.

And since I knew the damage she could do, I wasn't going to fall into that trap again.

She walks up to me, all saunter and supposed sex appeal, but I feel nothing. Ever since I found I loved Bella, other women have done nothing for me. And Tanya certainly hasn't got anything on her! I can see the look in her eyes; the glint of satisfaction that she isn't going to get from me.

I start walking in her direction and just as she stops in front of me and opens her mouth to speak, I side step her. "Sorry, Tanya. I've got other people to talk to." And I leave her standing there, mouth like a goldfish.

I stifle a chuckle as I sidle up to my father. We clink glasses and he looks back in Tanya's direction. "Do you think she'll move from that spot any time soon?" Carlisle laughs and I quickly join him as I look around and see her standing in the same spot as before, astonished.

I shrug, turning back to him. "I wouldn't worry about her. She'll get over it soon enough." I scan the crowd, my eyes quickly taking in Bella and all her beauty. "I'm not hers to have." I murmur, thinking only of the goddess standing across the room, laughing at something Angela has said.

Carlisle looks in the same direction. "Exactly right, son. How long have you been in love with Bella now?"

Now that it's a common fact of life, my love for Bella, it's hard to pinpoint an exact day or place or event that made me fall for her. I feel as if I've loved her since she fell over in that classroom - for every moment I've known her. It's almost as if I don't know how not to love her. Those feelings are a part of me.

God, I'm so pussy-whipped.

All I can do is sigh and continue looking on, probably all dreamy eyed. "A long, long time, Dad." I reply.

He nods in agreement. "So much wasted time, too."

_13th March 2008_

To most, Friday the 13th meant a bad day with bad luck to go with it. But someone, somewhere must have been thinking of me because on that particular day, there was nothing bad about it.

In fact, it seemed pretty surreal. I couldn't quite believe it.

After getting my degree in graphic design I moved back to Forks and joined a small but developing company. I loved my job and the people I worked with. I also enjoyed that Seattle was only a few hours drive away - there was always the occasional moment where the city called to me. But for the most part, I enjoyed being back home. I had my own apartment, just twenty minutes away from my parent's and childhood home. It was comfortable.

Bella, like most of the people I hung out with in high school, had eventually become a person I only saw and talked to once a month. The depressing fact was that I did nothing to stop it. My life became busier and I forgot about our Skype nights, and our weekend phone calls… I was, once again, proved to be a shitty friend. The connection we'd had, had lessened considerably (although my heart had never quite given her up) and I hardly heard from her.

Which was why I was so surprised to see her that day, on a park bench of all things.

At first I couldn't believe it. I must have looked like a stalker, the way I was leaning around trees and scooting past people trying to get a better view. The flowing locks of brown in the wind was what had first caught my eye. No-one had that stunning shade of hair but Bella Swan. I walked around, finding a spot that meant I could see her face properly, and when I finally found it, I nearly gasped. She was just as beautiful as I remembered her to me. Her eyes stared into the pond, her mind clearly whirring away as she eat the sandwich she has set down on her lap.

As if she felt my eyes on her, she looked round and caught my gaze. Everything seemed to stop for a second and then she grinned in recognition; I smiled back with all I fucking had. Because as she stood and made her way across to me, it felt as if I was coming home.

Seconds later she was standing opposite me. Her eyes held a sincere happiness at seeing me, yet there was an uncertainty there… almost as if she wasn't sure how to greet me. It pained me to see how our friendship had become. On impulse I pulled her towards me and wrapping her in my arms. I heard a faint sigh and felt her relax into me.

She pulled back, the wind making curls fly around her face. But nothing could deter her. "Edward," She whispered, reverent and disbelieving. "I haven't seen you in… forever."

I sighed, regretful. "I know… I'm so sorry, everything just seemed to get in the way. I really did mean to call, but I was moving back to Forks. And I had a new job. And I just-"

Her finger moved to my lips, stopping my speech. I halted at once, the shock at feeling her skin on mine so intimately, feeling all of her wondrous curves so close, freezing me. I was overwhelmed. I felt her shrug, still beaming and it lit up my heart. "Don't worry about it. These things happen." I couldn't believe she was letting it go so easily. She stepped back a little and my body immediately felt the loss; then she grabbed my hand. "Come and sit with me."

I did, and vowed silently that I'd never lose touch with her again.

_Present_

I never did. She meant to much to me, and, apparently, she'd missed me too. The past two years we've spent re-learning each other have been the best of my life.

Because she's finally, properly, mine.

"Would Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen please take to the floor for their first dance as husband and wife?"

Cheers went up in the room, those slaps on the back appearing again as I hand my glass to my father and walk into the middle of the room. I scan the room, taking Bella in as she crosses the floor. She always looks beautiful to me, but today, in that dress, she is glorious. Her ivory skin glows with a secret we are keeping until after the honeymoon, and her lips seem permanently turned up in a smile. That is the way I hope it will always be.

My fingers trail up her arms, feeling the soft skin and the shudder that comes from her body at my touch. Blissful. I pull her into my arms as the notes I still remember begin.

_"…pride can stand a thousand trials…the strong will never fall…"_

I chuckle. She'd been hiding her song choice from me since she'd picked it, and now I'm glad. It makes this dance more special. I smirk. "Titanic. I should've guessed." She laughs, a beautiful sound filtering through the music that bound us together on that first 'date'. It's definitely the perfect choice. I bend and whisper, "Leonardo DiCaprio still gets you off, does he?"

She shivers as she giggles. "Oh, yeah. Every night." Her eyes are devilish. "It's either him… or this other guy I know."

"Really?" I ask as I twirl her out and bring her right back in again. I don't want to stop touching her, feeling her and knowing she's mine. The ring on her finger is proof enough, but the love I feel for her is the real truth.

_"…touch me deep… pure and true… give to me forever…"_

She nods, trying not to laugh. "Oh, yes. He's simply define. His fingers… guh." She moans and I try not to groan at the sound. "He's taking me to this secret location tonight… for two weeks… where I hope we wear no clothes at all."

I run my finger up her neck and cup her chin. "You can bet on it, wife."

Her head moves closer. "That's good to know, husband."

_"…'cause I'm kissing you, oooh… I'm kissing you, oooh…"_

And then I taste her lips and our guests applaud in celebration.

_25th June 2010_

"Edwarrrrrrd… please," She pants. "I need… I need you… stop… teasing."

My day-old stubble slides over the sides of his thighs with every flick of my tongue. Her juices are flowing and she's moaning, sweating, looking beautiful as always. I wrap my lips around that little bud and suck, pulling her closer to her release. Her hands lock on my head; every delicious pull of hair making me want her more. My fingers plunge into her heat and she moans louder, almost a scream. I want to hear my name again. I thrust faster, flick harder and catch her eye as I feel her tense.

"Oh… God!… Edward!" She yells and I smile, succeeding.

I crawl up her body, littering kisses as she slows her breathing. Her hands, soft and warm, seem to be everywhere at once. She hugs me to her, eradicating all available space as I catch her lips in a kiss and thrust into her. Slow and sure, I grasp her body to mine, plucking out every inch of pleasure she gives me.

"Can't… believe… you're mine." I admit, a whisper in the quiet room.

She holds me tighter, and I know exactly how she feels. This perfection of our love in a world where nothing is certain but the way we feel for each other. If I die tomorrow, I would know I loved her to the best of my ability. We would both know for certain.

We reach our peaks within moments of each other, feeling connected and satisfied, sleepy but wonderful. She snuggles into my side afterwards, one leg latching over my body, holding us together.

Just on the brink of sleep, I make my eyes open and take a mental picture, a memory of tonight - of how she looked in her wedding dress (and how she looked out of it), or our laughter and smiles, and of how fucking perfect it all was.

And then I send a prayer to James Cameron, director of Titanic. Because without him, and his casting of a certain Mr. DiCaprio, who knows where we might have been?


End file.
